gold dust woman 2: Electric Boogaloo

It's been a week since I've blogged, so let me catch you up on the doin's. First off, I've been drinking pretty heavily tonight, so just remember that if I start talking about leprechauns and fish sticks. Anyway, I got tired of sitting around, moping about the automatons in this burg that I decided to do something about it, damn it! That's right! Time to take fate into my own hands! I found a friend through the internet. Talk shit if you want, but I'm not about to waste time waiting around for life to happen to me. Anyway, We met tonight for drinks and convo and she's cool as shit. Loves vodka and Boris Kodjo (I'm so spelling his name wrong). Suffice it to say, I had a great time.

On the writing front- I have been receiving rejections left, right and center pretty regularly, but my spirit is not broken. oh no! On the contrary, I feel energized. See, today I got a letter from a local newspaper editor inviting me to submit my stories to his paper for publication. Yay! Another writing gig. If there's anything I love more than toast and marmalade, it's a writing gig. Tomorrow (or whenever I sober up), I'll get cracking on my first draft. I aim to turn it in no later than next Friday. I'll let you know how that goes.

Money, money, money, money..MONAAAYYYY! Got my stimulus check today. Time for me to go and stimulate the hell out of DSW! Sike- the boy needs school clothes and more monkey accessories for his bathroom.

My eyelids are heavy, so it's time to sign off. I had a really, really good day and I didn't even have to use my AK.

gold dust woman

The original plan was to submit ten queries a day. That was all fine and good until I realized that I would have little time for actual writing if I continued down that path. So, I've narrowed it down to thirty queries a week. That way, I can submit ten a day three days a week and still create whenever the mood strikes me. Of course, "real" writers out there (the social outcasts in Birkenstocks and jams) will say that a writer needs to be disciplined and write every day. To which I scream "Bollucks!" Lemme tell you something: when the DLF is forcing herself to write, it's painfully obvious. Nobody wants to read that shit.

I'm making awesome headway on the new screenplay. I went through my old CD collection and have re-discovered Fleetwood de la Mac. Those songs are awesome and timeless. As of now, The Mac is my inspiration to keep going. Every time I hit a story hiccup, I think, "What would Stevie Nicks do"? That's when I flounce around in a black cape taking breaks only to snort cocaine off my own left breast. Just kidding. Can you see me in a black cape?

So, yeah. I'm reading a book called "Taming the Tongue" that outlines ways to keep negative, unGodly talk out of your vocabulary to make room for the postitive and the edifying. I'm trying really hard, but I kinda went off over at myspace about some country-ass theatre fucks. But that's the last time. Promise. You believe me, don't you?

down but not out

Suck ass writing news but swell real-life news.

First, the suck. I received another rejection of sorts today. This one was from a small management company in Los Angeles. Below is what he had to say:

Hi Delafantastika, unfortunately we're a small shop and can't
take blind submissions.

Good luck,
A PROFESSIONAL

People, this is how a rejection should be handled! He wrote back with one sentence that was the same basic kiss-off that I got from the monster agency. The difference was in the execution. He didn't punk out like the penis holes from yesterday and I can respect him for that.

Coming down from the writing cloud into real life, I got a phone call today from Raytheon. They want to interview me for a position this week. I'm stoked, but when I double checked the requisition, it requires a person with 0-2 years of experience. I'm not worried; I've got over seven years. What I am worried about is the salary range. Salary for 0-2 years experience is markedly different from 5+ years, nahmean? I'm calling the hiring manager back tomorrow with a suggested interview time. Ya'll, pray I get this job. I miss working...

There's a place near my house that repairs CDs. Handy, this is since both my Corbin Bleu and High School Musical 2 CDs are well and truly scratched.

If/ when I get this/a job, I'm taking the fam to Disneyworld again. I freaking love that place.

Corbin's dad's cereal commercial

FYI- Corbin Bleu's dad is in the new Reeses cereal commercial. I saw it this morning on Nickelodeon. Come to think of it, I was half awake, so I could have dreamed it (just like I dreamed that I sustained a massive head wound and started my period on the same day and mused about bleeding from both ends...). Anyway, shout out to Pops Rievers. Do yo thang, fam.

how long is your rope?

Hidey-ho and top o' the morning to ya!

Below is a message I received from a mega literary agency's legal department yesterday in response to my query:

Please be advised that the attached email, addressed to DICK HOLE, pertaining to "Romantic Comedy Query" has been referred to my office. Please be advised that it is corporate policy of the BALL LICKER Agency, LLC not to accept, read, listen to and/or review any unsolicited material of any kind. In accordance with such policy, we must decline your query, and I am unable to endorse the submission of further materials.

WHAT?! So, you mean to tell me that it is the policy of this agency not to read ANYTHING?? How the hell do they find clients if they aren't reading anything? That is the stupidest thing I have heard in a long time. I called my friend Elayne about it yesterday and she agreed: muy dumbo. She also implored me not to write back anything snotty. I wasn't going to; I may be offended, but I'm not in the business of burning bridges yet to be built.

Needless to say, I'm at the end of my rope. And, no, this doesn't mean that I'm going to sit around in my robe feeling sorry for myself. Huh-uh. I'm mad as hell! SOMEBODY is going to make my movie. SOMEBODY is going to give me a job. Today is the day I stand up and say, I will not go quietly into the night...

Oops. Seems I've lapsed into the "Independence Day" speech. Anyway, I'm fired up and will use this energy to get noticed.

confession session and other bits

Another update: I didn't finish the play "confession session", either. Instead of sitting on it, waititng for it to hatch, I'm going to get on the ball. See, there's a playwriting contest (or call for entries- truthfully, I can't tell the difference) that's looking for religious themed plays. This play is perfect! The deadline is 15 July, so I've gotta get cracking. Unlike "Bad Joke" or "Coffee...", this play is written and just requires tweaking and proofreading. Hear that, Kat and Elayne?!! Knocking on your door, I will be.

Dig the Yoda.

coffee in the old country

Way back when, I said I was going to enter a playwriting competition that was looking for short plays that take place in a coffee shop. Well, I started the play, but didn't finish it in time, so I missed the deadline. So, I am now the proud parent of a robust outline for "Coffee in the old Country". Maybe I'll work on that today.