Talk about a kick in the teeth! Today has been kicking my natural ass. First, the contractor showed up island-style late. He demo'd what needed it, but did he bring the materials with him to put up the replacement? Of course not. That would be rational and professional. Instead, he tried to bend me over and take me for $700 for parts his sorry butt didn't even have. Needless to say, we got zero work done. Then I get a call from my husband saying his plane broke (of course) so he'll be back God knows when. God, if You know when, do me a favor and don't tell me. Really. It'll be a secret and a surprise. Just like Your plan for my life or what really happened to my first Cabbage Patch Kid. Whenever Mr. Deux et Machina does return, however, all the smoke will have cleared and everything will be fine. He's magic that way.
In his defense, he's actually having a bad day, too. When he gets back, we'll get drunk and reenact the naked fight scene from Borat.
So I get to work and I'm immediately drowning in paperwork and stupid requests. Let me back up. Before I got to work, I checked the mail. I received my new phone charger (yay! Sprint you are hereby released from sucking me) and a rejection letter that read a little something like this: Thank you for your recent query to Didn't Read It Agency. However, I don't think that Didn't Read It Agency is the right company for your project. It's sad because this agency actually has a program affiliated with it that will take a project they believe has potential and work with it until it is up to their standard. Ya'll, I don't even have potential! I don't want to know what else could go wrong today, but I've learned that when things get like this to just keep bobbing and weaving, baby. Bob and weave. Like Rhianna's hair.
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