my night with Adam Levine

Last night, I had the strangest dream. I was in an alternate universe that was about to implode because of the wicked ways of its inhabitants. Well, yours truly had been marked to create the next race of superheroes. Except it wasn't that easy. See, these next superheroes had to be half-Jewish. So, I wandered the countryside until I ended up in what looked like Whole Foods Store where I ran into Adam Levine, the cutey-cute-cute lead singer from Maroon 5. Anyway, over the organic broccoli display, I informed him of my plight. I told him that, in order the save the world, I must beget the next race of Jewish superheroes and, since he was Jewish, I would need to sleep with him (several times over, natch). He told me that their Jewishness would be suspect because their mother (i.e, me) woudn't be Jewish (apparently it's passed through the matriarch). But that didn't mean anything because the next minute, we were naked and writhing on satin sheets- creating baby Jews to save the world.

I have no idea where this twisted shit sprang from. I do know that creating a race of super- Jews to save our planet is just a good a reason as any to sleep with Adam Levine. Maybe.