things we said today

One of my favorite Beatles songs is "The things we said today". As I sat at my desk, I got to thinking about the things I tend to say, even if they are only in my head. You know, uplifting little things when I'm in the car like "Could you waddle across the street any slower, you fat fuck and a half?!" or standing behind the pokey poke in the sandwich line: "What comes on the rueben? Gee, my crystal ball is broken, but lucky for us there's a TWENTY FOOT CHALKBOARD right in front of your stupid, non-observant, pug-like face with all the listed ingredients. Oh, sure. I'll take a moment to give you time to order and feel like the asshole you are".

Just checked the Massachusettes festival website. There are no results posted clearly marked 2007 winners, but there are some "congratulations playwrights" posted. Don't know if it's for this year, but I do know my name wasn't included.

That gaping black hole of depression is pulling me into it's orbit (this is the part where my junior astronaut cadet of a husband says that black holes don't have orbits. We get it. You're a genius. Moving on). So depressed I'm almost catatonic...I'm very unhappy because my writing career-such as it is-sucks, I'm bored of real estate and the world would be better off without me. Ya'll, there's an impending writer's strike in Hollywood. Can you say "Kay the Scab"? I wish somebody would ask me to fill in. I would cross those lines faster than a crack head on fire.

My son told me that he wouldn't mind if I moved out if it meant that he could have a pet snake. Last night, he went trick or treating with his dad, Mr. Perfect. The only time my son and I spend fun time together is watching "Martin". It's so broad and silly, we can both enjoy it. Maybe I should write Martin Lawrence a thank you note.