you can't always get what you want

"You can't always get what you want". Truer words have never passed Jagger's bloated lips. For instance, I didn't want to wake up this morning, and yet here I am. Last night, I had chest pains and I don't know if it was too much caffeine or simply stress. After all, I am the queen of psychosomatic symptoms. Anyway, I managed to sleep and when I woke up this morning, I can honestly say that I was disappointed. Still, I soldiered on. Got dressed, went to work, fucked around, went to the gym, and came home. Ah, but the fun doesn't stop there! I arrived home to the news that my full-length play (a tour de force about urban squatters during the summer of love) had been soundly rejected by a Texas theatre. Ya'll, this is all getting to be too much. I couldn't catch a break these days with a net and a prayer. Maybe there's another plan for me, but if so, why me? Other people get to do what they want to do, why not me? I wonder if Joan of Arc felt this way. "Girls my age are all marrying and starting families", she must have said. "This crusade shit is bunk".

This whole writing thing reminds me of the story of the little boy who asked God for a pony. He begged and begged, but still no pony. Finally one night, the little boy prayed again. "Why didn't you answer my prayers for the pony?" he cried. Then God calmly said, "I did answer your prayers. I said no".

I don't know about you, but that short story makes the book of Revelation look like an Archie comic.