I'm finding it increasingly difficult to strike a balance these days between feeling completely switched on and the depths of pessimism. Today is a dismal day. I talked to my sister earlier and she told me I should be excited because of the contest. Granted, I should and I was-- last week. But this is a new week with new problems and new failures. Maybe my brain isn't producing dopamine like it should. Back in the day when I was a drug counselor, I learned that prolonged use of stimulants can create, over time, a reduced amount of dopamine in the brain. Quite simply, the reduced levels of dopamine make it harder and harder for a person to naturally "get happy". But it's not like I smoke crack or snort cocaine. I don't even drink coffee!
I did receive my Mark Ronson CD in the mail today. Highly recommended. There's a really funny version of Britney Spears' "Toxic" with ODB hollering in the background "Ooh, nigga, I'm burnin' up!" Instant classic for my money.
Speaking of money, today I had to pay my Realtor dues. Fucking $600.
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