One more thing: I had to buy a flippin' swimsuit for this flippin' trip and, because it's January, the only flippin' suit I could find in the flippin' mall cost a flippin' $80!!! I bought the shit, but not before riling off at the unfortunate shop boy about this. He was sport, though and didn't call security. Nevertheless, the experience was so traumatic, that I felt compelled to write a poem:
There are many things
On which to spend eighty bucks
A lifetime supply of Fun Dip
Or a sweet ass sweet pair of Chucks
Eighty dollars is not something
We should be wont to throw away
Just ask those hollow-eyed orphans
Who're sponsored for pennies a day
Instead I've spent my orphan loot
On two trifling pieces of fluff
A green and white monstrosity
That barely covers my butt
Okay, okay so I'm kinda lying
The money wasn't for orphans
It was more like a gorgeous handbag
That caught my eye in Nordstrom
It was patent leather royal blue
And there was a red one just the same
Would you believe this extraordinary bag
Was actually calling my name?
Ah, but I've gotten off track
So sorry to digress
We were lamenting my inability
to escape looking a hot, bikini'd mess
The idea of mama's ass meat
Jiggling around like lukewarm jello
Makes the thought of dark ages dentistry
Seem quite mellow
So, dear friends, you feel my anger
Know my dread and understand my plight
I hope the folks at the pool brought their shades
'Cause it's gonna be a chocolate moon tonight!
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1 comment:
LOL!!!!!!
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