So we're back from the horrendous ski trip where I very nearly lost my mind and my frail, opinionated Mother-in-Law almost lost her life. Yes, dear readers. I'm back in the saddle. The wretched bikini has been cleaned and shoved into the far reaches of my closet where it belongs.
On another note, I've decided to work on being a better person. To that end, I'm going to send my spineless, "gotta call my mommy every five minutes ere I die" sister-in-law a birthday card. In a couple of weeks, she turns "too old to be calling my mommy every five minutes", but I hadn't planned on sending her a card. She probably won't get it anyway because her bald-headed, wanna-be Marcus Garvey idiot of a husband SCREENS THE MAIL and throws out stuff he deems inappropriate. What a douche bag. But, on my quest to become a gentler, more empathetic Fantastika, I'm going to send her a card. She doesn't have any friends and her life sucks, so the least I could do is send birthday greetings.
My son, on the other hand, won't be the recipient of such mercy. I'm going to string his thin yellow ass up by his toenails in about ten seconds. See, he's taken to rolling his eyes and trying to argue me down about anything. The boy is in second grade and thinks he knows everything. I feel like DMX "Ya'll gon make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here..."
Gotta go and get ready for work. First full day back. Woo-hoo. That's joy, by the way.
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1 comment:
Yay, my daily fantastika is back!! I need this column to keep me sane as I do homework in the wee hours of the morning. Thanks.
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