pittsburgh, Never

Why did I let myself get worked up about "Cleaver" being accepted in Pittsburgh? What on earth possessed me to think that there were not (at least) ten plays better than mine that were submitted? I received the results of the contest in my inbox this morning at 0615 and I anxiously scrolled down to see my name. Alas, it was not to be. So, I dragged my rejected ass back to my office and wrote in the inevitable "Didn't Win" beside the submission entry. Maybe my Schadenfreunde (SF) is right. Maybe the play was only good "for being written in 24 hours". It's not like it wasn't critiqued or anything. I didn't just shit out this play and send it off, you know.

There's a huge part of me that wants to succeed on this level, if only to validate my efforts. I'm oh-so-weary of being everybody else's cheerleader. I'm even cheerleader for SF and most of the time, she's not doing anything but performing the same shit over and over again. But why would anybody congratulate me? People don't get congratulated for simply entering the contest.

My writing is the most self-serving thing I do (manicures, pedicures, relaxers, body waxes and the like aside). It must be because, except for my few readers (thank you very much- Kat, Rita, Dawna, Zeke...), nobody else likes my writing. Perhaps because I write about what I like: fifties sitcoms, children who hate their parents, parents who poison their children, dying fourth graders and the comical side of drug addiction. I was writing that one last night. You know, before I decided to quit.

Earlier this year, I attended a one-act play festival in my little burg. Ya'll, my play was better than at least two of the presented four plays! But I didn't get to submit because the people who put the festival on didn't even solicit for entries. An evening at the theatre is always enjoyable, so it wasn't a total waste. And yet.

So, this is it. I'm pulling the cord and getting off the bus. I'm going to Target to pick up Warcraft and use my computer to figure out what I'm missing. Congratulations to the winners of the Pittsburgh contest. Fuckers.